WAITING

It seems like we have been waiting forever to go get our kids.  And apparently, waiting is not my specialty.  I honestly thought I was pretty good at it based on how nice I am in long lines, how I have never lost my cool in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, and how I really don’t mind when our food takes a long time at restaurants.  The only other time I remember really stinking at the waiting game was in my early 20’s when I was certain I was in love with Rod, and he was not in love with me. YETJ.  We read all about the waiting when we began preparing for this journey.  Everything we read said that the waiting was the hardest part.  Honestly, “hard” doesn’t even begin to describe it.  “Excruciating” comes closer.  I have become a maniac while waiting this time.  I never ever let my cell phone leave my side.  Even when I am indisposed.  I check email hundreds of times a day.  I’ve been known on some days to check it at every red light if I am out running errands.  I check the info on several adoption blogs and groups all day every day.  We are ALWAYS aware of what time it is in Ukraine. It’s not pretty.  I have also spent a lot of time in the book of James during the waiting.  It’s such a familiar book of the Bible to me, but it seems like I’ve been reading it in a whole new light.  Duh… God’s Word is LIVING and it is ACTIVE.  It is relevant and it is for ME. For such a time as this.  James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be MATURE and COMPLETE, not lacking anything.”  If we have a desire to be mature believers, then we have to allow God to walk us all the way through the process.  What I really wanted, much of the time, was to do a drive-thru kind of thing:  Finish the paperwork that places my order, overnite it to the guy at the Ukrainian orphan ordering desk, then take a couple of days to pack, and head on over to do the pick-up.  It’s the way I want everything to work out when I have something that “I want what I want when I want it.”  I am beginning to see that if all my kids are going to have a spiritually mature Mom, then I MUST learn to persevere at times.  AND, I am to consider it PURE JOY.  Um, I have an embarrassingly long way to go in this area.

Here is WHY the waiting is so difficult:  WE KNOW THEM.  They have captured our hearts and turned our house upside down. They have called us Muzzer and Fazzer (Mother and Father).  Jarrod, Logan, and Parker are their brozzers.  They have beds and clothes and toys at our house.  Spilled fingernail polish is on the carpet and pen marks are on the light colored leather of our relatively new car.  The culprits of all this craziness are Nicholas (12), Anya (7) and Kristina (6) and as far as this family is concerned, they are ours.  Sooner or later, they will be Smiths.

We got to know them this past summer after learning that Ukraine allows orphans to earn the privilege of being hosted for a few weeks in the summer and again at Christmas.  We decided that hosting would be a great idea for our family, so we signed up, sent the money through Paypal (which still cracks us up) and began taking the classes and going through the homestudies.  We found out real quick that we were going to have to be flexible and that nothing is set in stone.  We initially were going to host Roman, a young boy who looked like Rod.  Every roadblock imaginable happened with Roman.  We still save his picture because there was just something about him.  Then there was Edik.  Adorable.  Had his picture made in a tux.  And then, just a couple weeks before he was to come to our home, his birth mother petitioned the court to bring him back home.  So we could not host him. 

Then came Kristina.  Oh yes, this is the Kristina you met.  The Stallion.  She is 6 years old and 36 pounds of fight.  Don’t cross her if you are not confident in your stand.  She came to us tiny and brittle-haired, and hungry as a bear.  Also adorable with a far-off look in her eye much of the time.  AND, since Edik did not get to come, we agreed to take 2 other children in his place: Nicholas and Anya.  They are brother and sister and are thick as thieves.  In the airport, they came to us graciously and lovingly and with sweet kisses and gifts.  They have been in their orphanage 6 years, and so life with us was going to be a big, big change.  So on July 12, 2011 we hugged these precious little ones in the crowded, overwhelming Atlanta airport.  Children we did not know being carried by adults they did not know (Kristina cried the entire time. My heart broke at how frightened she was).  And I tell you the truth, by the time we hit the highway, Rod and I looked at each other and we looked at their little faces all lined up in the backseat, and we knew.  We are hopelessly in love with these children.  We want to be their forever family.  Our eyes welled up with tears.  And

then Anya threw up all over herself, the car, and my brand new dress.    

    

UKRAINE???

How did we end up in Ukraine?? Now that’s a question we have heard dozens of times.  Logan, Parker, and I are all college Spanish minors, so it really would have been easier and more comfortable for us to adopt children who speak Spanish.  I guess “easier” and “more comfortable” is just not the way the Smiths roll. 

For Spring Break of Logan’s senior year of high school, he went with a small group to Ukraine to serve in an orphanage there.  Without question, he came back changed.  He came face-to-face and heart to heart with hurting, needy orphans.  He had his heart stolen by Andre, an orphan there who begged to come home with the group.  I will never forget Logan coming home from that trip begging us to go back and adopt Andre.  To this day, I regret that we did not hear Logan out on this one.

For years, our church has been sending mission teams to Ukraine.  The teams work with local business people and university students.  Ukraine is fairly new to the concept of capitalism and the business people and young people are hungry to learn and implement these ideas.  Our church teams go, conduct seminars, build relationships, and then share the Gospel.  Since Ukraine was a communist country and part of the USSR until the early 1990’s, every aspect of what our teams share is new and curious and hopeful to them.  In 2007, Rod had his first opportunity to be a part of one of these teams.  He has now been several times and has never been the same.  God has given him a heart for the people of Ukraine.  As we got confirmation from God about adoption, Ukraine was Rod’s first vote.  We have since learned that there are nearly 1000 orphanages in Ukraine.  Ukrainian orphans are considered, even among their own people, even lower than “the least of these”.  “Almost a leper status” is what we were told.  In addition, Ukraine is one of the top countries in the world for sex trafficking.  These precious children are desperate for a home.  For a forever family.  For hope.  For Jesus Christ.

So here is how it all went down:  In October 2010, Rod was on another mission trip to Ukraine.  The empty nest was 2 months old by now and God was orchestrating the beginning of our restlessness.  On Sunday, Rod and his team had the opportunity worship at Central Baptist Church in Kiev.  He called home afterward and said “Guess what the sermon in Ukraine was on today?? THE CHURCH’S RESPONSE TO THE PLIGHT OF THE ORPHAN.” …… Great.  Just great.  I swallowed really hard and said “Rod, what is God calling us to??”

Fast forward to just a few weeks before all that paperwork in May.  Good Friday 2011.  Our family went to Secret Church, which was being hosted at our church.  Right smack dab in the middle of digging through Scripture together, David Platt said “WE DON’T ADOPT BECAUSE WE ARE RESCUERS.  WE ADOPT BECAUSE WE ARE THE RESCUED.”  I burst into tears.  Not misty eyed.  Not a trickle down the cheeks.  Ugly cry.  Sobbing.  And I knew.  We all did.  Months and years of having hearts for adoption, of talking about adoption, of having stirred hearts at every mention of adoption or orphans, of going to orphanages on mission trips, had come to a moment of decision.  Not a hasty decision.  Adoption is way too big for that.  This decision had been coming for 20 years.  The next day, a family meeting was called at the Smith Family Meeting Facility known as Taco Mac.  It’s where we do our best thinking.  It’s also where everyone is sure to show up.  And we laid it all out on the table.  Everyone has his say.  One naysayer would stop the whole process.  Either THE FAMILY was adopting or THE FAMILY was not.  Upon being asked his vote, Logan said “It just seems like everything in our lives is pointing to it.”  Parker said, “I think the better question is ‘Why wouldn’t we adopt?’”  Jarrod’s response???  “What the heck else are we going to do with all those extra bedrooms????”  Well said, my boy.  And funny enough, it’s a comment that in my heart and mind has been tossed around hundreds of times since then.  Why else would God give us extra (bedrooms, money, desire, food, time, room) except to use them for His glory?? Why else???

And so, among the hot wings and buffalo burgers and cheese dip, the decision was made.  The Smiths were adopting.  And everyone was all in.

May 10, 2011

 “I sit here at the bar in the kitchen surrounded by papers to fill out, papers to make copies of, papers for the boys to fill out, papers to mail, papers to fax, papers for the US government, papers for the Ukrainian government.  There is also the Macbook in front of me.  Over a dozen emails sent to me in the past day.  All of them need answering.  One requires 2 lengthy biographical essays.  One tells me that Parker’s fingerprints have not been received.  One is information on the 10-hour online class Rod and I must take.  All of the emails require more paperwork.  There is also that email that confirms that none of the Smith family is on the sex offender list.  Good news, indeedJ.  And in the middle of all those emails and papers (which do NOT mix well at all with a Mom who has focus issues) are two emails that make me cry.  They make me cry and laugh and remember why….  They are links to homecoming videos of other precious orphans.  Other children whose parents long to carry them to the Savior.

That heart and that conviction and that leading of God are where Rod, Jarrod, Logan, Parker, and I are now.  I long to record every moment of this sacred journey.  I meant to start recording 3 weeks ago.  My desire is to record so we never forget.  My desire is to record so our children will know and never forget.  My desire is to record so precious friends who are led by God down the same path can read and be encouraged.  The recording will not be organized or “Type A” or on schedule.  Because I am none of those things.  It will be random, for sure.  A song or a prayer or a Scripture or a thought from left field may pop up in the middle of something else.  But that’s the way my brain goes.  It’s the way my life goes.  It’s how God has repeatedly spoken to me about this whole adoption thing anyway.  Or at least that’s how I have heard Him….

Twenty some-odd years ago, my heart was stirred at the thought of adoption.  So was Rod’s.  His family had half-taken in Dai (from Vietnam) and my family had temporarily taken in several family members and friends who were down and out or needy or with Altzheimer’s or whatever.  Opening our home to others has always seemed natural to Rod and me.  When we were young marrieds, with small children, we read about the horrible conditions for baby girls in China.  We were moved deeply.  We read and we researched.  We learned that to adopt there, lengthy stays in China were required.  Not an option for us.  Jarrod was in and out of the hospital and seeing a doctor every 3-4 days.  We ordered a video on adopting from Guatemala because the in-country time was much shorter.  Still, in the end, we decided we were just unable.  But the stirring in our hearts never went away.  As months turned into years, we never heard an “adoption story” without looking at each other with “that look”.  It was the look the 2 of us always shared when we were totally on the same page about something and no one else in the room knew.  Through all those years, we continued in and out of doctors and therapies and struggles and school battles.  Those things seemed to maybe be God’s answer to us about adoption.  So many times I wondered if maybe our heart for adoption was truly a gift from God to prepare us to be grandparents of adopted children.  I still hang on to that oneJ.  Then 2-3 years ago, while on vacation in Hilton Head, Rod and I had a chance to go out to dinner alone.  Over pizza, the subject came up again.  We both agreed that we felt it so strongly, but once again, we felt too old (ha ha – 3 years younger than we are nowJ).  A year ago, The Blind Side came out.  I curled up in a little ball and cried through the whole movie.  Again, we were in Hilton Head for Parker’s spring break.  We were in a den full of people and Jarrod had just broken his arm to bits and had surgery.  Rod and I shared “that look” several times during the movie.  Final straw????? I don’t know.  Parker left for college, I read “Radical” by David Platt, our friends, Chris and Kim Forehand, adopted from Ethopia, Daniel and Heather Poe adopted and allowed us to be a part of every twist and turn, and all the while I felt like I was living purposeless days.  Some days I just sat on the couch for hours.  Not necessarily depressed.  Just paralyzed.”

WHY IN THE WORLD ARE WE BLOGGING??

We aren’t bloggers.  It’s something we have been perfectly happy to leave to “the others”.  “The others” are those people who are fancy schmancy writers and story-tellers. They are the ones with creativity and organization of thought and craft ideas to share and seemingly endless wisdom for the rest of us. We don’t have those skills. We admire them from afar.

We also aren’t all that interested in sharing the details of our lives every day. Not that we don’t love ours, but some days are boring. Some days are mundane. Some days involve too many tears and too much chocolate to confess.  We don’t put that kind of stuff on Facebook (you know, what we had for dinner, the details of our stomach flu, our raging anger at the politicians and the check-out clerk at the store, and the private home conversations that really, really should remain private).  Since we aren’t fond of sharing this stuff, we assume that there aren’t too many people outside of our mothers that have an interest in reading it.

But here we are on November 21, 2011.  AND GOD IS ROCKING OUR WORLD.  EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.  OUR VISION. OUR PURPOSE. ALL OUR ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT OUR EMPTY NEST YEARS.  THE WAY WE ARE DEFINING PHRASES LIKE “INTENTIONAL LIVING”, “FOLLOWING CHRIST WHEREVER”, “RADICAL OBEDIENCE”, “DENYING OURSELVES”.        And we are compelled to share it. We are compelled to share it because His Name and renown are the desires of our heart.  We are compelled to share it because He has done great things beyond all we could ask or think. We are compelled to share it as an act of worship, as a way of rejoicing with people we love. We are compelled to share it to gently plead the cause of the orphan. And we are compelled to share it because God used the adoption blogs of other people to bless us, encourage us, confirm His calling to us, excite us, challenge us, and connect us by surprise to our kids while we wait to adopt them.  We would love love love to be able to do that for someone else who is thinking about jumping in this crazy adoption adventure.  And we would love to have tons of our precious family and friends to be able to follow along and be a part of our day to day journey while we are in Ukraine.  AND SO…… we blog.

Our Story

We are the Smiths.   On Day 1 of the blog, there are 5 of us: Rod, Lisa, Jarrod (almost 23), Logan (21) and Parker (19).  YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT! Our children are men. We got ‘em through high school, and they are plugging their way quite nicely through college now. They are men. Excellent men. Men who love the Lord and have determined in their hearts  to be Christ followers. Men who, out of that love for the Lord, have been all over the globe in mission to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They go to school.  They work.  They have the most amazingly awesome friends, who are also adults.

THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING FOR ROD AND ME…….. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!! WE ARE DONE. FINISHED.  READY FOR CRUISES, BEACH TRIPS, DO WHATEVER WE WANT WHENEVER WE WANT,  WATCH HGTV AND TOP SHOT EVERY NIGHT FOR HOURS. WE CAN NEVER DO ANOTHER SPELLING LIST OR MATH PAGE OR POINTLESS SCHOOL PROJECT OR CHUCK E. CHEESE BIRTHDAY OR TOO HOT OR TOO COLD LITTLE LEAGUE GAME OR FUND RAISER AGAIN!!!!!! FREEDOM BABY!!!! WE ARE STILL HOPELESSLY IN LOVE AND WE ARE FREE!!!!

So in the Fall of 2010 , we started that wild and crazy lifestyle of the empty nesters.  We saw every episode of Top Shot and together we voted on our favorite contestant. We watched House Hunters and House Hunters International every night.  We read, we facebooked, we scoured magazines, we hopped in the car for no apparent reason and went to LoriBells’s for frozen custard, we strolled The Avenue, we ate out.  A lot.  We were FREE.

And in no time at all, we were dissatisfied.  We were restless and uncomfortable in our spirits.  In short, it wasn’t well with our souls.  And if I can borrow a song line from Switchfoot, we knew that we knew that we knew “We were meant to live for so much more”.  Mark Batterson says in his book “Primal”,  “Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.”  And Matt Redman says “Our Heavenly Father loves us with an extravagant abandon.  Passionate, undignified worship is our only reasonable response.”  So we talked and we prayed and we wrestled with God about what these truths must mean for us.  All the while, I had been praying “break our hearts for what breaks Yours.”  I prayed that a lot. For years, actually. I prayed for my heart and for the hearts of my guys.  And here is a little tidbit: When you pray that prayer a lot, He will do it. And it hurts. It is really really painful and humbling when the Father begins to answer that prayer and your heart becomes sensitive to the hurt and sin and sorrow around you.  But that’s what happened. And one day around January 2011, I told my sister in law “Please pray for us. I am certain that God is calling us in to the hard places.  I can’t place my finger on it, but I am certain that Rod and I are being prepared to go to whole new places with God. And it won’t be easy.” And when I told this same thing to Rod one night, he simply said “I know”.  The crazy thing is, it’s not like we were “back-slidden” or uninvolved in church (the things that most people consider the signs of a life going downhill). We were busy at church. Involved in the life and heartbeat of our precious congregation.  Always have been. And we love it.  It’s where we are when we are not at home or at work.  Still, while many would consider this “enough”, it was not. It is not.  God has called us to live a poured-out life, and it just wasn’t going to happen from our really comfy couch.

I found some things I had written in May 2011, after some of our ministry decisions had been confirmed.  After we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had called our family into orphan ministry.  After we had jumped in with both feet and told our families and friends and even written some checks to prove itJ.