WAITING

It seems like we have been waiting forever to go get our kids.  And apparently, waiting is not my specialty.  I honestly thought I was pretty good at it based on how nice I am in long lines, how I have never lost my cool in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, and how I really don’t mind when our food takes a long time at restaurants.  The only other time I remember really stinking at the waiting game was in my early 20’s when I was certain I was in love with Rod, and he was not in love with me. YETJ.  We read all about the waiting when we began preparing for this journey.  Everything we read said that the waiting was the hardest part.  Honestly, “hard” doesn’t even begin to describe it.  “Excruciating” comes closer.  I have become a maniac while waiting this time.  I never ever let my cell phone leave my side.  Even when I am indisposed.  I check email hundreds of times a day.  I’ve been known on some days to check it at every red light if I am out running errands.  I check the info on several adoption blogs and groups all day every day.  We are ALWAYS aware of what time it is in Ukraine. It’s not pretty.  I have also spent a lot of time in the book of James during the waiting.  It’s such a familiar book of the Bible to me, but it seems like I’ve been reading it in a whole new light.  Duh… God’s Word is LIVING and it is ACTIVE.  It is relevant and it is for ME. For such a time as this.  James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be MATURE and COMPLETE, not lacking anything.”  If we have a desire to be mature believers, then we have to allow God to walk us all the way through the process.  What I really wanted, much of the time, was to do a drive-thru kind of thing:  Finish the paperwork that places my order, overnite it to the guy at the Ukrainian orphan ordering desk, then take a couple of days to pack, and head on over to do the pick-up.  It’s the way I want everything to work out when I have something that “I want what I want when I want it.”  I am beginning to see that if all my kids are going to have a spiritually mature Mom, then I MUST learn to persevere at times.  AND, I am to consider it PURE JOY.  Um, I have an embarrassingly long way to go in this area.

Here is WHY the waiting is so difficult:  WE KNOW THEM.  They have captured our hearts and turned our house upside down. They have called us Muzzer and Fazzer (Mother and Father).  Jarrod, Logan, and Parker are their brozzers.  They have beds and clothes and toys at our house.  Spilled fingernail polish is on the carpet and pen marks are on the light colored leather of our relatively new car.  The culprits of all this craziness are Nicholas (12), Anya (7) and Kristina (6) and as far as this family is concerned, they are ours.  Sooner or later, they will be Smiths.

We got to know them this past summer after learning that Ukraine allows orphans to earn the privilege of being hosted for a few weeks in the summer and again at Christmas.  We decided that hosting would be a great idea for our family, so we signed up, sent the money through Paypal (which still cracks us up) and began taking the classes and going through the homestudies.  We found out real quick that we were going to have to be flexible and that nothing is set in stone.  We initially were going to host Roman, a young boy who looked like Rod.  Every roadblock imaginable happened with Roman.  We still save his picture because there was just something about him.  Then there was Edik.  Adorable.  Had his picture made in a tux.  And then, just a couple weeks before he was to come to our home, his birth mother petitioned the court to bring him back home.  So we could not host him. 

Then came Kristina.  Oh yes, this is the Kristina you met.  The Stallion.  She is 6 years old and 36 pounds of fight.  Don’t cross her if you are not confident in your stand.  She came to us tiny and brittle-haired, and hungry as a bear.  Also adorable with a far-off look in her eye much of the time.  AND, since Edik did not get to come, we agreed to take 2 other children in his place: Nicholas and Anya.  They are brother and sister and are thick as thieves.  In the airport, they came to us graciously and lovingly and with sweet kisses and gifts.  They have been in their orphanage 6 years, and so life with us was going to be a big, big change.  So on July 12, 2011 we hugged these precious little ones in the crowded, overwhelming Atlanta airport.  Children we did not know being carried by adults they did not know (Kristina cried the entire time. My heart broke at how frightened she was).  And I tell you the truth, by the time we hit the highway, Rod and I looked at each other and we looked at their little faces all lined up in the backseat, and we knew.  We are hopelessly in love with these children.  We want to be their forever family.  Our eyes welled up with tears.  And

then Anya threw up all over herself, the car, and my brand new dress.